I am STILL pregnant! I totally (and clearly inaccurately) thought that if Baby #1 was early, Baby #2 would be early too. I do not know why I had that impression, but I thought FOR SURE we would have a new baby by now…NOPE….NOT…YET! My due date is technically on Sunday, but this pregnancy has been so different from the get go (not surprising) and certainly for the last 3 weeks, I have been convinced that the baby is ready to rock and roll right out of there!!
Additionally, over the last several weeks, I have been dilating one centimeter a week (I am at about 4 now) and the first time I did this labor and delivery thing, there was no dilation at all even by the time I got to the hospital well on my way to meeting Baby #1…so I really thought that this baby would just be falling out (ok, a little graphic but true!)!
I love having the extra and unexpected time with LadyBug because she is totally the light of our lives right now…but I cannot do all the things that she wants to do because they all involve significant physical and energetic activity (she is quite good in that department). She wants me to carry her all the time and she wants me to lay on the floor while she jumps on me and she wants to tackle me (yes, her Papa is responsible for that one)…and some of those things are HARD to do, even un-pregnant! Regardless, the extra time and hours and cuddles and kisses with her is totally a joy.
I am still going to work everyday because I do not want to use up my sick/vacation time and the more I stay put here, the more time I will have post delivery…but it is difficult to think about starting new projects and getting involved with anything because I feel like a ticking time bomb.
It is amazing how much there always is to do, how easy it is to forget to stop and smell the proverbial roses…how life flies by in an instant before you know it…how did my baby already turn into a toddler? How did she learn how to do that [fill in the blank]….how did it get to be April already…it is a never ending stream of Oh My?! How did we get here, I didn’t even notice it was happening…so no. I am not trying to rush this baby out – I really am not. I want to spend every available and appropriate moment with LadyBug – I want to remind her that she has nothing to worry about – that even with transition we are still here for her. No, I am not trying to take away a minute from what is no-doubt going to be a few weeks (months or years) of crazy – depending on what this new little bundle is like…
But – the fact that this baby is not yet here, the fact that I was SURE that it would share a birthday with my mother-in-law (today), the fact that other than the obvious, there is no real sign that labor is imminent….there are ALWAYS surprises and this is the most recent one (oh yeah and the one where LadyBug screamed at the top of her lungs for almost 2 hours last night…and DAMN she knows a lot of heart-wrenching sentences!!) – other than that one. I am just going to remain surprised and in awe of all that we still cannot control.
I will keep you posted on Baby #2, I will keep you posted on what happens next – surprises and all…but right now, I am going to go take a walk.